just another shade of Gray

A Major Milestone

2009-07-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

I am soo excited for where my life is heading right now...it has been a little out of control (ok so a lot out of control!) but, Superchik, said it well in their lyrics...there is beauty in the pain. Here is the update and basically what I know is going on in my life. I am getting out of the bookstore business as of Aug 31, 2009...I have mixed emotions; not entirely sure what to feel sometimes. I have been offered a postition, which would mean that I would be moving (this would be something like the 20th time or so...crazy I know!) I would be staying in this area, just relocating for the job. More on this once I know for sure what is going on...I could use some prayer!

Memorial Day Weekend 2009

2009-05-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

I finally got a chance to go to New York City...I loved it! What an exciting place to be....I don't think I am cut out for daily life in NYC, but a visitor for sure!!!! I plan on returning...I was impressed with how safe I felt & how much easier it was to get around than I had thought it would be. I do realize that we owe the easiness to the fact that Matt has been there multiple times and he understands the subway and trains...I would not want to know what the city would be like without someone who has that kind of knowledge...we used our time wisely and did a great deal! We ate great food, met new friends, saw the Statue of Liberty via Staten Island Ferry, Times Square, Central Park via Carriage ride (only the girls wanted to do that) Tiffanys on 5th Ave, Maddison Square Garden, the NBC building, looking for non-existent Hello Kitty store (Leah!), the best Toys R Us store, M&M store, China town, Little Italy, Little Mermaid on Broadway, & oh so much more! What an amazing trip...on the way home we stopped in Philly and saw the Liberty Bell and Independance Hall....the worst part about the trip was the let down feeling of walking into an empty house that was too quiet after the hussle and bussle of a big city...God was very good to us as always!

The impact of a stranger

2009-05-12T07:53:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how a complete stranger has the power to impact our mood, self-image, and even our life! A week or so ago a complete stranger impacted me for life! It was a sweet older lady who started a conversation with me in a waiting room. As we talked, it turned out she and her husband had been married 55 years...she in turn asked me how long I had been married. I responded that I was single...she turned to face me and said with complete shock and honesty "I thought for sure that a girl as beautiful as you are, you would be married!" Oh, maybe it was a vain moment for me, but I felt beautiful looking into the elderly eyes of sweet, stranger, Elaine! Vanity or not, I believe we need those moments when we are reminded that God created us in His image and that we need to look at ourselves through older and wiser eyes as to what is truly beautiful...I don't know if Elaine will ever know the impact of her simple conversation, but it hit home with me that I am someone's "Elaine"! Someone who may be insecure, have a low self-esteem, may live in pain, or just feel like they can never be good enough....my words will either make them feel the way I did or make them feel the exact opposite...my words to a complete stranger can and will impact them.

tryin to move beyond myself

2009-04-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

It was commented to me (justly)that I never write on here....when I look back to when I started it, my goal was to write at least once a month (if I'm remembering correctly)...well, I haven't been doing that! It has turned into what every journal I have ever bought or have been given turned into...a few brilliant (hahaha) entries and then nothing! Today I choose to break that cycle and speak (or write in this case!)

I am more and more assured of the fact that I must live a life of passion...I simply must! I must love completely or not at all...I must believe wholly or not at all...I must live a changed life or not at all! Otherwise what is the point? If I love a little, that means there is room for selfishness and I become the most important person within that relationship....If I believe a little, there is no commitment and it is easy to remain submerged in ambivalence; never having direction...If I live a life not changed, I become as shiftless as water only taking on the form of the container I am poured into for the moment. For these reasons I choose to live a life of passion, conviction, and faith.

the day after a birthday....

2008-12-23T12:56:00.000-08:00

Do you ever wake up the day after your birthday and have to remind yourself that you did indeed have a birthday because you don't FEEL any different? That is what 31 did for me! I don't have any new aches and pains nor do I think there are any new wrinkles but I guess the key word would be YET! lol...I don't mind the numbers to be honest with you because I have an 87 year old grandpa who has shown me that the fountain of youth is in how you live...by your outlook on life...by being thankful...by spending time with God, family, and friends! I love looking young but I am more interested in aging gracefully and concentrating on keeping my spirit young rather than the physical....Abraham Lincoln once said: It is not the number of years in your life, but the life in your years that counts! That is my goal...to have as much of a life in whatever number of years I am given, so that even if I do not live to be a young 87 year old, that I will have lived as much as I possibly could!!!!

Live life and love it!

2008-12-05T12:14:00.000-08:00

Life has the ability to slip away so fast if we don't reach out and grab hold of the opportunity to really live! Christmas time this year has so many meanings that I didn't understand before....I have been places I never dreamed I would visit...met people, not even able to speak the same language as me, who love me better than people I have known my whole life! It sends a shiver of excitment to think that I walked where Moses, Joseph, and even Jesus as a little child walked!!!! God is as real today as He was in those times...Amazing! After seeing the way Egypt is now its not so hard to imagine it as it would have been when Mary and Joseph went there! (minus a lot of fast moving cars!) Take the opportunity to really live or if you can't, give the opportunity to someone else, but don't just let life slip away! Live and love it!

I am thankful for you...

2008-11-29T11:46:00.000-08:00

I do not like to get mushy very often, but this season (this year) has been a tough one not to be for me! I am thankful for many things. I realize that most everyone is thankful for their family and friends, but I too, would like to state publicly just how thankful I am for the people in my life...know how much I love you...without you and your support I would not be who I am and loving it....I want to leave nothing unsaid:
My Father...my hero...my biggest fan (I miss him more everyday)
My Mother...wow what a lady...she is the ultimate proverbs 31 woman...I love you!
Joe and Char...I love you both like the second set of parents that you are
Christal....always remember to beware of the shadows!!! We will always be close no matter how far apart we are or how long it is that we are apart....I am so happy that your prince charming came along...hmmm...still waiting on mine!
Grandpa...you are the most amazing storyteller I know....I love being your girl! Love you lots!
Dave and Matt....you guys are an inspiration...thanks for everything!
Stephen...I love the man you have become...you will be an awesome dad someday! I love you!
Brianne...stay in school but hurry up so I can have nieces and nephews to spoil!
Naomi...you continue to amaze me...always love what you do or don't do it! Glad you don't have to scrape your windshield anymore!!! I love you!
Rachel...keep at it...it is just a matter of time before we call you Dr Gray...or Dr (you fill in the blank) I love you!
Renee....I love that you get it and I don't even have to say anything! you have helped me more than you can possibly know...I respect you and love you very much!
Teresa....I love how honest you are...you are braver than you give yourself credit for...I hope you get your something sparkly soon!!!! Wait...don't stop reading....I love you!!!! (Okay... I'm done being mushy you can stop your nervous laughter now!)
Heather....I love your ability to forgive it's something I strive to have...it is your biggest strength, but also your biggest weakness...be careful that you don't sell yourself short! I loved our late night talks as roommates...I love you!
Melissa...I would not be able to have this business with anyone else...you are the strength in my weakness!
Egypt trip people...Egyptians and Americans alike...Thank you for loving me...you humble me by your great love of Jesus...my Egyptian Father-Fayeze...I miss you and pray that I see you again soon! Brad...you are an amazing man of God...a rock when we needed something tangible to hold onto...Terri...you inspire me....when I "grow up" I want to be just like you! I love you all!
Chicago trip peoples....I love you...you have been life-changing for me...you are amazing!
My small group girls....I see where you were when I first met you, where you are now, and dream with you of where you will be...I love you and hope you are never afraid to live...be Jesus to the world!!! You have each one made me a better person!
My small group ladies....I love the space in my heart that you fill....community is so important for each of us to grow....it is worth the risk of pain to have people really know you ...I love you!

There are so many more important people that I would love to send a personal Thanks to, but I must get back to work...I will leave with this last word to all the people in my life mentioned above and not mentioned above.....some of you keep me real....some of you make me dream....I need both...Thank you...I love you all!

Just another shade of Gray...ME!

2008-11-12T12:43:00.000-08:00

Hello....so I have finally set up a blog!!! Amazing-I know! Getting a head start on my new year's resolutions...yikes! I would love to turn into someone who writes with regularity and perfect clarity...hmm...well this is a start at least!